My name is Millicent and I’m from England and I’m 16.
I made this blog mainly for myself to feel motivated and inspired by the photos other people post, but I also think it’ll be useful for other people to look at my blog and hopefully feel the same, Im not pro-ana at all, but I’m also not against it. I just want to lose weight and I will do whatever to achieve this.
I’ve lost a stone and 11 pounds this year (25 lbs) which isn’t very impressive because I kept stopping and starting and losing and gaining but I’m going again now and I’m determined to get to 120lbs and I have an incredibly long way to go but yeeeeh.
I’m not going to write my stats on this blog, as a few people I know in real life will find this and that’d be embarrassing but if you want to know them just message me and i’ll more than happily let you know, or if you just need a chat about losing weight or want someone to talk to, advice etc, I’m here:-)
personally, I’ve always struggled with my weight, I look in the mirror now and I sometimes can’t believe what I look like, a ‘fat’ person. I don’t know how/when it got so bad but I think I’ve always used food as a coping mechanism for when something bad happens in my life. I haven’t had the most perfect childhood or life, I’m lucky of course but there are certain things and people who continually make me sad and let me down on a daily basis. (I also have a personal blog, not really do to with my weight but other things in my life which would probably help you understand me more: http://millicenttt.tumblr.com, just ask me for the password hehe).
I genuinely feel disgusted and embarrassed whenever I look at myself in the mirror, which I don’t tend to do a lot anymore as the scars on my stomach etc make me feel too sick.
Although I seem like a very confident and happy person around most of my friends I am actually incredibly self-conscious, to the point where I’d rather not go out if I don’t have nice enough clothes to wear that make me look less fat than I already am. I am constantly aware of the way I look, when I’m walking down the road and cars go past me, or when I have to walk past a group of boys or when I’m eating especially. It annoys the fuck out of me because I’m always worried that I’ll get shouted ‘fat’ or something by people I don’t even know. I feel like I endlessly have to prove and justify myself as a ‘funny’ and nice person when I first meet someone so that they won’t hold the way I look against me or base what I’m like on my appearance. Though everyone says ‘it’s all about what’s on the inside’ I don’t see it that way, skinny or normal looking people can say that to me because they don’t have a problem, but I know that if I ever went out with my friends clubbing or w/e, no one would approach a fat girl, it’s all about first impressions. And people can sense if you’re self-conscious as it is anyway, and tend to not know how to communicate with someone that held-back. I certainly feel uncomfortable when all of my friends are able to jump on each other and sit on boys and dance around not caring what they look like. People know it’s a weakness and they will use that against you if they don’t like you because they know it hurts. I want to prove people wrong who’ve called me things in the past and I want to feel confident in myself when I wear something or when I talk to people I don’t know.
I’m doing this for myself of course, which is the most important thing. And my ultimate goal is to just feel content and pleased and confident and not shocked and disgusted by what I see in the mirror. So yes, enjoy my blog :)
<a href=”http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker”><img border=”0” src=”http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/2631/273/26310273.png” /></a><p style=”text-align:center;width:420px;”><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - <a href=”http://www.myfitnesspal.com”>Nutrition Facts</a> For Foods</small></p>